June 9 - surgery in the morning
Today was packed with activities - church, 'sold' a couple more sketches for donations to Panama project, tried a new gelato place in Altadena, got gas and visited the ATM, cooked the corn on the cob I got from Glendora's farmers market yesterday, washed dishes, got golf clubs out of the car, (car was waxed yesterday after my hair cut), finished my word games (to resume after I'm finished with pain killers), cut Don's hair, out to dinner at The Parkway Grill in Pasadena, laundry, dog combing (Don said there was no time tonight to give him a bath), paid bills, emptied garbage, watered plants. Guess I'm ready for my shower and antiseptic wipes, then sleep. I'm so tired, but I'll be getting a lot of rest in the next 48 hours. Enjoying the fantasy world of the theater by watching the Tonys.
So how am I doing? Feeling the love and prayers and thoughts and well-wishes of my friends and family. Thinking of Scripture and remembering how God is with and in all things.
Ready to get this surgery over with so that the week will pass by and the results from the oncologist to tell me there is no cancer spread to the nodes!!!!
Gotta take a shower - I'm so tired.
Next posting will be sans the left breast.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
May 30
May 30
One week to pre-op appointment. Going to have a bone scan on Tuesday. I want to know if there is any other cancer lurking around before the surgery.
My nail appointment was today and I am continuing my appointments after I can get around.
Tomorrow I will go to Walmart to get some after surgery house clothes. I also have to find something to put near my 'nest' to house my laptop, iPad, and phone and that can all plug in to their respective chargers at the same location.
I stopped by the Wizard of Bras store yesterday, but they don't handle insurance cases. I was told by one person that they were sent to Nordstroms to be fitted for a prosthesis. The owner of WofB said there's a place in Glendale that does a lot of insurance cases. Glendale. Nordstroms. hmmm... we'll see what happens in a couple of weeks.
One week to pre-op appointment. Going to have a bone scan on Tuesday. I want to know if there is any other cancer lurking around before the surgery.
My nail appointment was today and I am continuing my appointments after I can get around.
Tomorrow I will go to Walmart to get some after surgery house clothes. I also have to find something to put near my 'nest' to house my laptop, iPad, and phone and that can all plug in to their respective chargers at the same location.
I stopped by the Wizard of Bras store yesterday, but they don't handle insurance cases. I was told by one person that they were sent to Nordstroms to be fitted for a prosthesis. The owner of WofB said there's a place in Glendale that does a lot of insurance cases. Glendale. Nordstroms. hmmm... we'll see what happens in a couple of weeks.
Monday, May 27, 2013
May 27
May 27
Two weeks from today: mastectomy. I am ready to lose the breast - I am NOT ready for the pain and recovery. I am also not ready to learn whether or not the cancer has spread to the lymph node and get chemo, if it has.
I am concerned just a little that the rest of my health is uncertain - I mean, what if there is cancer elsewhere? Should I have a mastectomy if cancer lurks in another spot? I will call the surgeon-or surgical coordinator-to find out if other tests will be taken to discover more information, if it's there to discover.
This week I will go to the bra fitting salon and talk about my needs after surgery. During this week and next week I also want to play a lot of golf and clean the house which translates to throw out STUFF.
I have to talk to Elsie and plan what should happen to my nails in the next few months. I would like to stop appointments and take the acrylic off. It's about my needs now. I will miss seeing her on a regular basis. I will call her tomorrow and see how that conversation goes.
Now, for eating. I remember in 1991/2 that I ate like there was no tomorrow and gained a lot of my weight back. I am doing that again and have to watch it.
The last time I had breast cancer, I had just lost a lot of weight, and this time, I'm on Nutrisystem again. Is that a pattern? Haven't heard about any suspicions about that.
***
Two weeks from today: mastectomy. I am ready to lose the breast - I am NOT ready for the pain and recovery. I am also not ready to learn whether or not the cancer has spread to the lymph node and get chemo, if it has.
I am concerned just a little that the rest of my health is uncertain - I mean, what if there is cancer elsewhere? Should I have a mastectomy if cancer lurks in another spot? I will call the surgeon-or surgical coordinator-to find out if other tests will be taken to discover more information, if it's there to discover.
This week I will go to the bra fitting salon and talk about my needs after surgery. During this week and next week I also want to play a lot of golf and clean the house which translates to throw out STUFF.
I have to talk to Elsie and plan what should happen to my nails in the next few months. I would like to stop appointments and take the acrylic off. It's about my needs now. I will miss seeing her on a regular basis. I will call her tomorrow and see how that conversation goes.
Now, for eating. I remember in 1991/2 that I ate like there was no tomorrow and gained a lot of my weight back. I am doing that again and have to watch it.
The last time I had breast cancer, I had just lost a lot of weight, and this time, I'm on Nutrisystem again. Is that a pattern? Haven't heard about any suspicions about that.
***
Friday, May 24, 2013
May 24
Doctor consultation with surgeon today - mass is invasive, but small. Will not do another lumpectomy because one was done before on the same breast. So, surgery will be June 10 and will be a mastectomy with one node to test for invasive activity.
If the node is positive, chemo will be prescribed. If the node is negative, the mastectomy will be all that is required.
At the end of my recovery from surgery and chemo, or not, I will see the plastic surgeon to reconstruct the breast and reduce the right breast to match.
A lot of surgery for the next twelve months, I guess. So get ready for pain and rehab! Hope I can have some pain killers for all of this.
Oh, and the node-ectomy may mean I will have swelling this time too, and definitely will have more numbness in that armpit, and will need physical therapy to move that arm again.
Golf is over for 2013.
So, what to do until June 10? I have to come up with a plan. The first option would be to take a little road trip and get away from Dodge for a few days. But, the more rational, reasoning side of me says to work on the stuff in the house and get rid of the junk!! I won't want to look at it or work on it for the rest of the year.
Got a nice card from the office staff today. I have told almost all my friends in the area. Will call Hinchey family tomorrow, I guess. Just so they're in the loop. Should call my cousins in Sacramento area.
Haven't posted it on Facebook yet. Will wait until next week. Sunday will have a notice in the bulletin.
Speaking of church, I have finished all the sketches I have pictures for. Should receive more pictures Sunday and/or take more pictures Sunday.
So far, all of them have pleased me very much except for the Cook daughter. Don't think I have her looking young enough, but will wait for Kris to tell me what's wrong with it - I can't figure it out by myself.
Doctor consultation with surgeon today - mass is invasive, but small. Will not do another lumpectomy because one was done before on the same breast. So, surgery will be June 10 and will be a mastectomy with one node to test for invasive activity.
If the node is positive, chemo will be prescribed. If the node is negative, the mastectomy will be all that is required.
At the end of my recovery from surgery and chemo, or not, I will see the plastic surgeon to reconstruct the breast and reduce the right breast to match.
A lot of surgery for the next twelve months, I guess. So get ready for pain and rehab! Hope I can have some pain killers for all of this.
Oh, and the node-ectomy may mean I will have swelling this time too, and definitely will have more numbness in that armpit, and will need physical therapy to move that arm again.
Golf is over for 2013.
So, what to do until June 10? I have to come up with a plan. The first option would be to take a little road trip and get away from Dodge for a few days. But, the more rational, reasoning side of me says to work on the stuff in the house and get rid of the junk!! I won't want to look at it or work on it for the rest of the year.
Got a nice card from the office staff today. I have told almost all my friends in the area. Will call Hinchey family tomorrow, I guess. Just so they're in the loop. Should call my cousins in Sacramento area.
Haven't posted it on Facebook yet. Will wait until next week. Sunday will have a notice in the bulletin.
Speaking of church, I have finished all the sketches I have pictures for. Should receive more pictures Sunday and/or take more pictures Sunday.
So far, all of them have pleased me very much except for the Cook daughter. Don't think I have her looking young enough, but will wait for Kris to tell me what's wrong with it - I can't figure it out by myself.
Monday, May 20, 2013
May 21
May 21
The call from Kaiser today informed me the tumor is malignant. So, the next step is an appointment with Dr. Pulab next Friday to go over the pathology report and treatment plan.
Not the optimal situation and for the moment, I'm more worried about Don than myself. Plans we wanted to make are now on hold and definitely did not include cancer treatments.
Phoned Jan and BSF leader and Roy and Sue. Wrote an email to Major and to the office.
Dr. Pulab is the surgeon who did my hernia surgery October 2012. Glad to know we are familiar with her and like her very much.
How much of my life's routine will be changed?
For how long?
What cancer will be next?
I am having some bladder problems - don't know what that is all about, but I have been drinking a lot of water, so hopefully that's all that's about.
Going to go to the final meeting of BSF tomorrow. Not going to work unless I have a good attitude about it.
After retirement, I wanted to clean out the house, and God knows I procrastinate and work better under a deadline. Well, if this is His idea of giving me a deadline... thanks!
Resetting priorities - as soon as possible!
The house will probably be a mess before it's better! So much stuff to throw out or organize and store.
Ok. I know death is going to happen sometime. I'm not afraid of it. There are a lot of details to work out ahead of time. That will be a challenge. Then there will be the anticipation of Don and Briscoe being alone together. So... death is a possibility, but inconvenient!
Friday, May 17, 2013
May 17
Biopsy day
Kaiser appointment at 9:00 - arrived at 8:30, parked and walked to Radiology. The every-other-Friday-Farmer's Market was there! The looks and smells of the vegetables, fruit and flowers were a pleasant welcome to the procedure to come. More about the market later.
Checked in with the receptionist and gave my name and birthdate, showed my Kaiser card and a picture ID, then sat next to my husband (who came with me!) to wait for my turn.
My poor left breast has been through so much and its size has withered due to previous lumpectomy in December 1991. Naturally I wasn't looking forward to losing more of it. But, that's what happens.
The technicians were very pleasant and helpful and up-beat. First an ultrasound, some papers to sign, and Dr. Verma came in to numb the breast, make an incision and - with the help of the ultrasound screen image - place a long needle in to take a sample and place a 'marker' at the location of the mass for future reference. The marker turned out to be a little difficult to place, it 'kept slipping.' At about 9:45, it was over. Except for another mammogram to check the location of the marker. Then I got an ice pack to tape to my skin and keep the incision location from swelling, I assume.
Leaving the building to get to the car, passed through the farmers market again. Picked up a fresh cinnamon pull-apart loaf, two fresh tomatoes, and six fresh eggs. But all the cherries, avocados, greens, carrots, squashes, peppers, onions, etc., looked so good. Hard not to buy everything!
I felt good enough to drive home, and the driver's seat belt was more comfortable than the passenger belt would have been.
Now, almost 12 hours later, not much pain, but I haven't moved from the couch too much.
I have felt the presence of God and the prayers that I and others have prayed for me today. Thank you, God, for being with me today and for your peace and keeping me calm and focused on You; for putting me with the good people who doctored me today and for easing the pain; for giving me this challenge to further my faith.
***
Biopsy day
Kaiser appointment at 9:00 - arrived at 8:30, parked and walked to Radiology. The every-other-Friday-Farmer's Market was there! The looks and smells of the vegetables, fruit and flowers were a pleasant welcome to the procedure to come. More about the market later.
Checked in with the receptionist and gave my name and birthdate, showed my Kaiser card and a picture ID, then sat next to my husband (who came with me!) to wait for my turn.
My poor left breast has been through so much and its size has withered due to previous lumpectomy in December 1991. Naturally I wasn't looking forward to losing more of it. But, that's what happens.
The technicians were very pleasant and helpful and up-beat. First an ultrasound, some papers to sign, and Dr. Verma came in to numb the breast, make an incision and - with the help of the ultrasound screen image - place a long needle in to take a sample and place a 'marker' at the location of the mass for future reference. The marker turned out to be a little difficult to place, it 'kept slipping.' At about 9:45, it was over. Except for another mammogram to check the location of the marker. Then I got an ice pack to tape to my skin and keep the incision location from swelling, I assume.
Leaving the building to get to the car, passed through the farmers market again. Picked up a fresh cinnamon pull-apart loaf, two fresh tomatoes, and six fresh eggs. But all the cherries, avocados, greens, carrots, squashes, peppers, onions, etc., looked so good. Hard not to buy everything!
I felt good enough to drive home, and the driver's seat belt was more comfortable than the passenger belt would have been.
Now, almost 12 hours later, not much pain, but I haven't moved from the couch too much.
I have felt the presence of God and the prayers that I and others have prayed for me today. Thank you, God, for being with me today and for your peace and keeping me calm and focused on You; for putting me with the good people who doctored me today and for easing the pain; for giving me this challenge to further my faith.
***
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
May 15
Looking back to October 2012, the month of my retirement from full-time work where I spent the last 28 years, I had a few post-retirement plans that didn't seem would create a crazy schedule: First was minor surgery that had a brief 4-week recovery period; second was to join a Bible study; third was to join a golf club; fourth was to work part-time at my former job; fifth was to join long-time friends (who had retired from the same organization) for breakfast once a week; and sixth was to become a dog-sitter through a web-based service. So far, so good. Not too much to do to completely take up every minute of the day.
There was a struggle to get to Social Security and begin getting SS checks. And I still haven't started my retirement fund withdrawals. But, aside from that, not having many responsibilities and having time for activities I really enjoy, has been very nice.
So, for the last 6 months, my post-retirement routine has been very manageable and pleasant.
Then came the annual mammogram in April. A mass. After breast cancer in December 1991, here we go again. The same breast too! Why couldn't it have been the other one so that the surgery (hopefully a lumpectomy, like last time) would give me a much-need breast reduction, if for nothing else, match the size of the other one!!?!
Worst case: double mastectomy
Best case: the mass is a result of a fall I'd taken first of April, which hurt my thumbs and wrists and lower arms the worst, but also resulted in my breasts also slamming into the street - no surgery.
Well, biopsy is Friday.
I'm not afraid of cancer - just the surgery and being out of real life for maybe six months followed by post-treatment (radiation, chemo, etc.).
That would suck.
Of course, there is a worst worst case too because cancer is so unpredictable and, hey, could be the final sentence.
Not afraid of dying either. I would feel bad for my husband and fur-son. And, I would really like to get ALL loose ends cleaned up - honestly, that would take about a year. Hope I have a year. Time to find a cure for my long-term procrastination malady.
***
Looking back to October 2012, the month of my retirement from full-time work where I spent the last 28 years, I had a few post-retirement plans that didn't seem would create a crazy schedule: First was minor surgery that had a brief 4-week recovery period; second was to join a Bible study; third was to join a golf club; fourth was to work part-time at my former job; fifth was to join long-time friends (who had retired from the same organization) for breakfast once a week; and sixth was to become a dog-sitter through a web-based service. So far, so good. Not too much to do to completely take up every minute of the day.
There was a struggle to get to Social Security and begin getting SS checks. And I still haven't started my retirement fund withdrawals. But, aside from that, not having many responsibilities and having time for activities I really enjoy, has been very nice.
So, for the last 6 months, my post-retirement routine has been very manageable and pleasant.
Then came the annual mammogram in April. A mass. After breast cancer in December 1991, here we go again. The same breast too! Why couldn't it have been the other one so that the surgery (hopefully a lumpectomy, like last time) would give me a much-need breast reduction, if for nothing else, match the size of the other one!!?!
Worst case: double mastectomy
Best case: the mass is a result of a fall I'd taken first of April, which hurt my thumbs and wrists and lower arms the worst, but also resulted in my breasts also slamming into the street - no surgery.
Well, biopsy is Friday.
I'm not afraid of cancer - just the surgery and being out of real life for maybe six months followed by post-treatment (radiation, chemo, etc.).
That would suck.
Of course, there is a worst worst case too because cancer is so unpredictable and, hey, could be the final sentence.
Not afraid of dying either. I would feel bad for my husband and fur-son. And, I would really like to get ALL loose ends cleaned up - honestly, that would take about a year. Hope I have a year. Time to find a cure for my long-term procrastination malady.
***
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