May 27

May 27
Two weeks from today: mastectomy. I am ready to lose the breast - I am NOT ready for the pain and recovery. I am also not ready to learn whether or not the cancer has spread to the lymph node and get chemo, if it has.
I am concerned just a little that the rest of my health is uncertain - I mean, what if there is cancer elsewhere? Should I have a mastectomy if cancer lurks in another spot? I will call the surgeon-or surgical coordinator-to find out if other tests will be taken to discover more information, if it's there to discover.
This week I will go to the bra fitting salon and talk about my needs after surgery. During this week and next week I also want to play a lot of golf and clean the house which translates to throw out STUFF.
I have to talk to Elsie and plan what should happen to my nails in the next few months. I would like to stop appointments and take the acrylic off. It's about my needs now. I will miss seeing her on a regular basis. I will call her tomorrow and see how that conversation goes.
Now, for eating. I remember in 1991/2 that I ate like there was no tomorrow and gained a lot of my weight back. I am doing that again and have to watch it.
The last time I had breast cancer, I had just lost a lot of weight, and this time, I'm on Nutrisystem again. Is that a pattern? Haven't heard about any suspicions about that.

***